#so i have rambled so incredibly much in the hope that you might be able to relate to some small part of this and be reassured

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Okay but real talk the black heart being about Billy actually makes Agathario even more compelling sorry y'all don't have an imagination.

I mean, the implications of Rio not technically being in the coven??? From what I understand, a coven is supposed to be a sisterhood, a group of witches dedicated to each other above all else. Rio is not dedicated to these people. She is not here for them. Rio is death and death has no coven but she still came. She came because Agatha summoned her, not because the coven needed a new green witch. (This also means the coven never actually needed a green witch since I'm presuming Billy isn't one. They didn't need Rio but Agatha called her anyway)

Rio has no loyalty to the other witches, she is there for Agatha and Agatha alone and I am SO hoping they get to show that on screen in some way.

Also the black heart itself isn't a huge plot point or a character moment, but Agatha's reaction to it certainly is. She sees a black heart on a list of names that are supposed to be her coven and she immediately thinks of Rio. Billy presses her about the fourth name and she would rather eat paper than do literally anything normal. Like, we know Agatha is an incredible liar, she should have been able to easily come up with something to tell him but she was so thrown off by the idea that the name might be Rio that the only thing she could think to do was to eat the list. That is insane behavior who cares if it wasn't actually about Rio because Agatha's actions were about her. That tells you infinitely more about them than a list of names.

Also just. Logistically. It makes way more sense like why wouldn't Lilia just write Rio Vidal? I know it works for the drama of it all but I was wondering if they were going to give an in-universe reason or just leave it as a weird plot hole. But who's the one person a witch can't name? Also, Billy told Eddie nothing in his life felt normal until they met, so it makes sense that the symbol she would use to represent him, the most accurate way to refer to Billy, is the affectionate inside joke between him and the only person who makes him feel normal (I could ramble for just as long about how Billy being the black heart makes his character and his relationship with Agatha so much more compelling as well but this is for the Agathario stans and I know y'all are a little traumatized so I'll hold off for now. Also also it makes Mrs. Davis's death even more tragic because there was actually no reason for her to be there, they already had their complete coven)

[leviathanxprincess]

Introducing The Kings to Your Plushies

me and my bestie have a joke about my faves showing up to my place for sex and i would not realize and just start talking about my plushies based on this dumb post we saw once, thought it'd be funny to turn into an actual scenario lol might do this for the other devils, angels, minhyeok if the ppl are interested lol notes: mildly sexual - not really anything deeply insane, gender neutral reader !!!

Satan

On one hand, he thinks you're really cute. On the other hand, he's here to fuck so.

He's going back and forth so much in his head for a moment he's not even paying attention to you talking oops.

Gets so frustrated and angered from trying to decide what to do it ultimately ends with him just jumping on you.

Cut you off mid word with an incredibly heat filled kiss from rage.

Honestly you might not even 100% be certain what happened but you're not complaining!! You can always talk about the rest of your plushies later!!!

Well. If Satan doesn't fuck you until the point you're resting for the next couple days.

Once he actually pays attention to you talking about them he'll remember some names here and there, but he will get them wrong on purpose to try and see you angry lol.

Mammon

The reality is he probably got you most of these plushies.

He adores seeing how you cherish them and the lore you've decided for them!!

Will remember every single detail you tell him about them!!

He thinks it's super cute and will humor you for the moment.

However, Mammon will get what he wants eventually. But for right now you're so adorable how could he tell you no?

He is DEFINITELY teasing you later once he does get to sleep with you about how cute you are.

This man lives to see you embarrassed and shy from his compliments.

Is probably buying you even MORE plushies now, hope you're prepared for that!

Leviathan

I think it depends at the point in your relationship, if it's early on he might just toss the plushies aside and get to the point of what he wants.

Later on I do think he genuinely listens, even if he's impatient and pretends like he doesn't care. If it's important to you he does care, just doesn't always show it.

Especially if you use the plushies as a form of comfort due to trauma or any other issues.

You won't even realize how much he paid attention until he refers to your plushies by their names if you accidentally leave them laying around.

However he does still get jealous so so easily so maybe try not to spend too much time at once focusing on them rather than him.

He tries so hard but eventually the jealousy will overtake him and he will just get straight to the sex.

For what it's worth, he still found you cute! He just can't help himself.

Beelzebub

I'm not gonna lie, you might be able to successfully distract him for a good bit.

Dude's invested in the names and lore and anything you have created for them!!! He likes hearing about it !!!!

He isn't gonna be able to remember every single bit of these details but he might remember some of it here and there. Either way he likes listening to how you talk about them!

That being said he can only sit still for so long so maybe introduce him a little at a time lmao.

Especially because once he DOES start to get distracted he's gonna remember the original reason he was here.

And well. Yeah just like that it's time to fuck!

Because you successfully distracted him for a bit you might be in store for an extra long session this time so! Good luck!

Lucifer

He listens fully. Wants to hear everything you have to say about them.

He finds the plushies super cute, so he enjoys listening to your ramblings, even if he had certain intentions when he arrived.

But most importantly, he's so endeared, you're so absolutely adorable to him. The way your face lights up when you talk about them, he can't get enough!!!!

So he lets you have your moment.

And when you're finally done is when he's actually gonna fuck you lol. Yeah, that was still happening he had a goal.

And if he's teasing you extra specially tonight, don't even worry about it (whether it be from compliments or degradation who's to say!! just know you're gonna be crying extra hard this time he's so worked up from how cute you are!).

Of course, he remembers every single detail you tell him, he has that shit committed to memory. Asks you questions sometimes to see that adorable look on your face again!

Belphegor

Goodnight.

He tries to pay attention but he's ready to fall asleep apologies.

He showed up for sex and when it wasn't happening his brain turned off.

That being said the second you realize he's asleep and start trying to wake him up he's on you!!

Like okay conversation done we're fucking now right?

It's just easier to give what he wants and lecture him in the process.

It's fine he tries to listen later. That being said if he invites Beleth to listen too don't worry about it. He totally didn't tell him to memorize details for him because he's probably gonna fall asleep again.

Asmodeus

Sorry there's just no way to distract this man from sex.

If he's showing up for sex he's here to for sex !!!!

And he WILL get it!!!

If anything he just starts fucking you while holding up the plushies to you and asking you details about them.

Unfortunately you're kinda too fucked out by that point to truly answer them.

He's a fucking menace apologies.

And he cannot be stopped I fear.

That being said any information he does manage to get out of you he does fully remember!!

It's his own weird way of showing affection, ya know?

[alphajocklover]

Genie Glory the Game

(A [Very Late] Trade with @bigwishes. I hope you like it!) 43 followers. Rich Donaldson, also known as TF2Twink on Twitch, had 43 followers.Rich had been streaming for over 3 years now and only had 43 followers. 43 measly followers. It made him feel pathetic. It made him feel like he was useless. Yet at the same time, Rich was incredibly grateful for every one of those followers. 

Rich Donaldson had wanted to become a gaming streamer since he was a kid. It hadn’t really been a real thing until he was a teen, and most people thought he was crazy for thinking he could make money that way. Some people doubted it was a real job, some thought it was too competitive, some thought it was just a dumb idea in general. No matter what the reason, everyone in Rich’s life agreed that Rich wasn’t going to make it as a streamer. Especially his hyper religious, video game hating parents. Still Rich refused to give up. He knew it would be hard, maybe impossible, but he was passionate and felt like he had to follow his dream. That was what everyone in the movies did after all. Rich moved out, cut contact with his parents, went into debt buying the best streaming gear he could… and immediately regretted it. Rich didn’t mind losing contact with his parents. They had never been the most loving people, so he hadn’t really lost much. Except things weren’t working out like they did in the movies. Rich wasn’t making it, and worse than that he wasn’t getting any better at streaming. He was good at the games, so he knew that wasn’t the issue. The issue was… he was incredibly, painfully, horribly shy. Rich didn’t have the confidence that a streamer needed. He could barely get a word out during the stream without starting to awkwardly ramble, and even when he did he came off as awkward and weird. He wasn’t just unconfident, he was a downright nervous wreck. Still he didn’t give up. He couldn’t after everything he had thrown away to get this chance… all the sleepless nights working part time jobs to stay above water… he was in too deep. So he kept going “Hey chat! S-so t-today…” Rich took a deep breath, trying his best not to ramble “T-today I’m going to be playing a new game. I-it’s not very well known, but i-it looked cool and I’ve heard a lot of people are playing it… S-so let's get into ‘Genie Glory the Game!” Rich said, trying to be excited. Barely anyone was watching, and it was getting hard to pretend he wasn’t incredibly depressed, but he kept smiling. Genie Glory was a pretty simple game with a simple premise that had been baffling gamers for months. It was a pretty simple idea based on a classic scenario. You play a random guy who has discovered a genie’s lamp and now has 3 wishes. You make a wish by typing it into the computer, and the genie grants the wish, but usually in some twisted way that is accompanied by a pixelated animation of the player's fate. The goal is to get through all 3 wishes alive. What made the game so popular was that no one had beat it yet. Whatever AI the game used was incredibly clever and strangely creative, and to make it even more difficult, the game only allowed you to play it once. Popular streamers, actually geniuses, and even philosophers hadn’t been able to beat the game, so Rich knew beating it would make him famous.

“Ok chat. I-it’s time for our first wish… And I’m taking suggestions…” Rich said. Rich wanted to beat the game, but… he wasn’t sure how to beat this game, so he’d take all the help he could get. A few suggestions actually came across the screen ‘BasedBro69: Wish for your muscles to grow!’

‘GenieGay33: No way, that's the way to open ended! The Genie will make him grow until he pops or something’

‘MissTaken27: That's such a basic idea. Might as well ask him to wish to be a frat boy or something.’

Rich laughed at this. He knew most of his followers' usernames by heart, but BasedBro69 was new. Still the conversation he had started was kind of funny, and he figured… why not? “Ok then, why not! Lets make me a frat boy!” He said, snickering as he typed in his computer. He tried to be as specific as possible to avoid the spell being twisted “‘I wish I was an attractive, stereotypical frat boy.”

Rich laughed as he watched the pixelated version of himself grow muscular, his clothing changing to a tank top and backwards cap. He watched as the other version of him rushed a frat. Rich was certain something would go wrong, afterall he knew from first hand experience that hazing could get fucking intense, but surprisingly his character survived and got through the first wish without any incident. Rich grinned widely. Most people never even made it through the first wish, but he, a relative nobody, had managed! He stood up straighter as he watched people start to flood into the stream. He checked the chat happily. ‘GenieMan33: He actually made it with that wish? I’ll never understand this game, but good for you!’ ‘MisterRichD27: Kind of an ironic wish considering you are a frat boy. No offense.’ ‘BasedBro69: I fucking knew that would work bro! You can do this!’

Rich blushed slightly at MisterRichD27’s comment, and his flirty name. While he didn’t tend to think of himself that way, he was technically a frat boy. He had joined one after heading to college in the hopes of finding some friends. His frat brothers could be… kind of obnoxious, and very stereotypical, but they had helped him come out of his shell somewhat and even get in shape. He was still fairly shy, but he never would have gotten this far in college or with his streaming if it wasn’t for them. He chuckled at the chat, slightly embarrassed “I’ll admit, that was a weird wish, but hey, it worked so who cares!” Rich said cheerily “Ok, so what's the next wish going to be? I’m trusting you on this chat!” Rich said with what he hoped was a charming wink. ‘GenieMan33: Maybe something basic like money? That doesn’t usually work but you seem to be on a hot streak.’

‘BasedBro69: No way bro. He only gets to play once. Wish for something like fucking confidence or something. Something fun!’

‘MisterRichD27: IDK, Basedbro69 was right last time. Maybe you should wish for confidence?’ Rich shrugged. He could think up even more ways that this could go wrong, but this game had never seemed to work on logic in any of the videos he watched to prepare for this. So with a grin, he typed in his second wish “I wish I had the kind of cocky confidence that ladies love.” he said with a chuckle. He hoped it would be obvious that it was a joke, since his Twitch username, FortnightOtter44, made it obvious he was gay. He watched as the little version of him grew a big head, quite literally. Rich was worried this was leading to some type of game over, but his head deflated, his muscles grew, and a bunch of pixelated girls in bikinis ran up to the pixelated him. Rich grinned wide and tried not to cuss in celebration, not wanting to get demonetized (again). He had fucking done it! He fucking got past wish 2! He smirked as he watched the chat explode as more people tuned in ‘GenieStud33: Fuck yeah! RDH fucking did it! Knew you had it in you bro!’

‘MissRichD27: RDH is the best gamer ever! And the hottest! DM me!’

BasedBro69: HELL YEAH! You can do this bro!’ Rich, known as RDH to his fans, or RichDaHunk on Twitch, smirked, as he saw the comments roll in. He fucking knew he could get this game. He may not have been the most popular streamer on twitch, but he was a fucking good gamer and a total stud. He flexed his biceps, getting the chat riled up again in a frenzy of lust and admiration. Rich didn’t bother to look at the chat this time. He gave a smarmy, cocky smirk at the camera “I know what to put in next bros. I’m gonna wish for something fucking inevitable.” he said cockily.

He quickly typed in “I wish I was the most popular gaming streamer on Twitch”, and watched with a practiced cool confidence as the pixelated version of him gained millions of followers. The chat exploded with awe and wonder as what Rich had always known was going to happen, happened. He had won the game. He flexed his muscles for the stream, celebrating with his 43 million followers. He didn’t understand why they were all shocked. He was the coolest, hottest, douchiest gamer on twitch. Of course he fucking won!

[sofs16]

tissue love

pairing ferrari engineer x charles leclerc

warnings a few point of view changes but there’s bold text that would indicate it

note would be a nice christmas gift if you guys followed my x account lecls16 :,)

ynslife

liked by charles_leclerc, and 974 others ynslife last gp of the season ❤️ so glad to be part of this team!

view all 28 comments ferrariloverz best ferrari engineer !! user it’s the end of the season and charles is still lurking in her likes 😭

charles leclerc has been admiring yn yln from afar for the last 5 months. she was charming, a little shy, fun to be around with, and absolutely beautiful to charles.

he hadn’t yet mustered up the courage to ask her if she wanted to hang out with him; more so on a date with him. the most charles has ever gotten was a 15 minute chat with her as they both went to the wrong meeting and had the wrong time. ironically it was the perfect time for charles to talk to the young blonde.

oh! and also the time charles stalked her instagram and accidentally followed her. she followed back within the hour.

anyways, today was the last gp. it wasn’t exactly his year, nor ferrari’s year, but today was also the last day before he most likely wouldn’t see yn for another 2 months. or last working day as the ferrari team will have a christmas party tomorrow night.

charles put his balaclava on and saw yn giggling with the other engineers as she covered her mouth. they both made eye contact and she smiled and held up a thumbs up to charles.

he was ready

the night of the christmas party, he could already see yn’s bright red shoes peeking out of the photobooth.

the party was held at a house and there was so much red that charles felt a little ‘fomo’ with the lack of red he was wearing as he was just in a simple pair of jeans and a white shirt.

he waited outside the photo booth with no one in line too busy talking and drinking, hoping that yn would notice him and maybe even take a few with him.

you did.

you sat at the edge of the seat, moving the curtain to the side while waiting for the photos to develop. you saw a looming figure and looked up to see charles. you hadn’t talked much but he was a talented man and incredibly kind.

“hi, charles!” you smiled to him “hello, yn! you look good — not to be weird by saying that! but you… get me, right?” he rambled as you giggled “thank you, charles! yes i get you” you chuckled “you clean up well” you added

he shook it off with a laugh “do you want to take a photo?” you shuffled to the end of the booth and he sat with you. you smiled at each other and you pressed the button before doing multiple series’ of goofy poses.

after a few minutes you both took a moment to laugh at the outcome. neither of you left the other’s side. that night you were glued to the hip with charles that even carlos wiggled his eyebrows at the monégasque, unbeknownst to you.

you even sat together at the dinner table and bumped shoulders while the others cracked jokes.

but what really was the highlight of your night was the games. specifically the tissue drop game.

the host of the night asked all single women and men to go to the middle of the room for the games. you still stood beside charles and so, you both ended up being partners despite other of your colleagues asking if he wanted to be partners with them.

he shook his head with a smile and said he was already partners with you. blush crept onto your cheeks every time your fingers would brush against his.

the mechanics made you burn ferrari red. ‘we will drop a tissue and you and your pair must both catch it… in between your lips’.

charles was trying his best not to sweat it.

charles was nodding along with the words going over his head. he might be able to kiss you tonight, even through a tissue. the thought of it sent him through a spiral “are you okay with this” he whispered to you, leaning closer to your ear.

you nodded with a smile, feeling a little giddy.

the both of you were the last pair. only 2 of 12 pairs had successfully caught the tissue between their lips. the other 10 just laughed the kiss of with a friendly slap on the arm.

you stood in front of charles, just a little bit shorter, and he stood in front of you as the host made their way in between. obviously all eyes were on the both of you.

you with charles leclerc.

“one…” you sucked in a breath “two…” he shuffled on his feet and you both screwed your eyes shut “three!” the tissue dropped and it hung on just on the bottom of both of your lips. the top part feeling electrified as you both stood the frozen in that position.

the whole room’s cheers and shrieks were faded out and you both opened your eyes. you could only feel him and thoughts of him were swirling in your head.

he couldn’t think straight. your perfume was infiltrating his mind. your shaky hand was touching his elbow. and the clink of your red shoes as you stopped tiptoeing and took the tissue. “we said it’s enough guys! damn this is a new match” the host chuckled as the pair laughed. he returned to his seat and pulled out your chair for you, holding up a thumbs up to make sure you were okay, and you were.

that night charles had the courage to text you.

ynslife

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 1,684 others tagged: charles_leclerc, and scuderiaferrari ynslife glad to have spent the season with such a fun team ❤️

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charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️

[ liked by ynslife ]

user1 is that yn and charles in the last slide?!?

carlossainz55 I have an extra tissue if you need ❤️

⤷ ynslife ill be sure to shove it up your mouth!!

⤷carlossainz55 tranquila! calm down! user37 yn’s posts are just full of ferrari gratitude and red posts AHAHAH

[ liked by ynslife ]

scuderiaferrari 🤧😏❤️

ynslife

liked by charles_leclerc, and 1,338 others

ynslife SOMEONE had to physically hold me back from buying all the vogue issues 😞

view all 372 comments

carlossainz55 is she hard to hold back charles_leclerc ? :)

⤷ charles_leclerc 🫥 … yes

user48 how do you feel after being the vogue queen of ferrari with your fits? 🎤

⤷ ynslife too tiring. have to dress up lil carlitos and charlie 😝

⤷ charles_leclerc hey!

charles_leclerc

liked by 13,594,292 others

charles_leclerc Last 2023 picture dump🤍

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ynslife oh mygod

ynslife I GOT HARDLAUNCHED 🥹

ynslife and now i have 100 angry girl dms 🤯

⤷ charles_leclerc Noooooo! guys stop:(

ynslife

liked by charles_leclerc, and 183,383 others

ynslife back to work with the only dmer who matters ❤️

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charles_leclerc Can you answer me please, Amour 🥹

⤷ ynslife OOPS SORRY LOVEU

[adaelines]

rushed but i finished re4 and could not stop thinking about his arms afab but gender neutral reader, Leon calls you a slut & whore but with love!!!, creampie, he bends you over his desk at work lol

You never could stop staring at Leon's arms. Years of non stop training, of missions that would test even the strongest of men's wills, left him with arms you could only describe as something you could see on a Greek statue. 

The way he carried items, carried people with no issue was incredibly attractive, and knowing that he could easily manhandle you into any position that he wanted you in made you hot under the collar. 

It was hard to focus when you were anywhere near him. When you were in the same room you had to act like you weren't soaking your underwear, sneaky glances and touches that lingered a little past considered platonic.

God forbid the days that were slightly too warm, that made him roll the sleeves of his way too expensive shirt up to his elbows, you felt as if you could jump his bones on the spot. 

The unspoken attraction, the need you felt anytime you were around him is what led you to this position. What started as a simple mission brief, both of you staying late in his private office where he could tell you about what he expected in the upcoming mission, what he needed from you, ended up with you bent over his desk, one arm pinned behind your back by his harsh grip and held down against the dark wood by Leon's hand firm against the top of your spine.

His cock was hard inside you, hips pressed tightly against your ass.

"Needy little cunt is just sucking me in…" His groan was loud, raspy and full of desperation. He bucked his hips into you even more, shoving himself as deep as he could. "Y're so tight, sweet thing, you've wanted this bad, huh…"

You whined loudly against the desk, mouth slack and drool pooling on the wood underneath you. It would absolutely leave a mark on his desk, and you hoped that he'd look back on the stain and think of you right here, whenever he worked. 

"God, you're a messy little thing, aren't you?" His voice was teasing, almost deamining, and the grin on his face matched. He was looking down on you, and if his thumb wasn't gently rubbing the skin on your wrist where he was holding it tightly, you might have genuinely believed he was just using you for his own pleasure. "Would have done this ages ago if I knew you were this desperate, what a slut."

"M'not…" you tried to deny him, tried to tell him this was only for him, no one else would ever be able to make you feel this good now that you've felt his cock so deep, pressing against your cervix almost brutally. 

"You're not? Not what, sweetheart?" He mocked, hips rutting into you. "Can't even speak straight, and you're trying to tell me you're not a whore?" 

His bark would have a lot more bite if is hips weren't moving desperately against yours, hands gripping your skin tight and pulling you back into his thrusts. Leon was just as desperate, just as needy, he wanted this just as much as you did. 

"Fuck, you feel so good, unfair how good you feel, gonna get me addicted i swear." He was rambling, drowning in the pleasure of you around him. He swore, whined your name and sung your praises. 

His hips were slamming so harshly against you in quick, tight thrusts you swore you would have bruises tomorrow. It would be hard to sit down, hard to take any pressure on your behind and you did not want to explain to superiors just why it hurt to sit, not when you knew you would have Leon by your side, smug and almost cocky. 

The hand on your spine moved onyo the desk beside your head, Leon bracing himself as he fucked into you as hard as he could. The new position meant you could hear him better, hear every groan he let out, every low grunt of your name, even the quiet whines as he grew closer to his peak. 

The new position also meant you could see his arm flex as he gripped the wood so tight you were worried there would be nail marks left, the veins and muscles bulging. 

It really was unfair how attractive he was. You always loved his arms, but seeing them like this, tense from him fucking you, was a whole new light. Needing to touch him more, you brought the hand that wasn't trapped behind your back up onto the desk, Leon immediately placing his on on top and holding your hand against the desk. 

The feeling of him holding your hand so tight was grounding, and the difference in just how big his hand was in comparison to yours only adding to the heat of the situation.  

It was overwhelming. He was everywhere. Above you, inside you, you could feel him everywhere. Your entire body was hot, tense beneath him, and if you swore with just how hard he was fucking you that you would die any moment. 

When you let out a loud whine of his name, Leon only grinned in response. He loved seeing you like this, weak and at his mercy. 

"Y'gonna cum for me, pretty?" His grip tightened, strong enough to know you'll have the same nail marks as his desk, a reminder of just who fucked you like this, who destroyed you like this. "C'mon, be good for me, make me proud…"

His words immediately tipped you over the edge, entire body arching away from the wood as you came. He held you down, whispered in your ear about just how good you were being, how sweet you were, how he couldn't wait to do this again and again and again… and when he came inside you, you both let out whines loud enough that you thanked God that no one else was in the office. 

It felt so good, him panting against your back, cock plugging his cum deep inside of you. With a few weak, slow thrusts, he panted against your back, pinning you against the desk. You both knew you'd have to move soon, get cleaned up and talk about what just happened, but right now… both of you just enjoyed each other, enjoyed the soft touches and sheepish grin Leon gave you.

"So uh… can I take you to dinner?"

[a-little-revolution]

heya, this might be too much for a single post, but i would delight in a ramble about the overlap between dwarfism and disability (whether or not you/the community as a whole generally consider it a capital-D Disability or if theres more nuance like with the autism or HOH/Deaf communities where it just Is and folks feel the the struggles with outgroup folks are like, culture clashes, or perhaps a secret third thing?)

similarly, id love for a ramble on the overlap between dwarfism and queerness, especially The Genders. i have ehlers-danlos syndrome and theres a huge number of us who are trans or nonbinary, to the point where masculinizing hrt is (anecdotally) understood to be a bit of a treatment for some symptoms. i know theres a lot of overlap between queerness and disability as a whole, but so far the couple of artists with dwarfism ive found and followed are all some flavor of trans or nonbinary, so id love to know if thats as common of a thing in your community as it is in mine

dwarfism is for sure underrepresented in discussion about both disability and queerness, and as a disabled queer person they are so intertwined in my head, and im forever curious about other folks experiences so your thoughts are appreciated!

Hello!! I love these questions!!

Firstly, yes, I do identify as being both a little person and disabled, but that isn't the case for everyone with dwarfism. Though dwarfism falls under the classification of a physical disability, not all little people find it physically debilitating. For me, my Achondroplasia dwarfism has resulted in sleep apnea, arthritis, chronic pain, hearing loss, limited mobility and dexterity. I cannot walk long distances and I use multiple moblility aids (wheelchair for long distance, rollator most of the time, and cane for short distances or around the house). My disability is dynamic, meaning that my ability changes day to day depending on pain levels, spoons (unit of measure for disabled energy), and activity.

Being that I am both a little person AND noticeably disabled, I have experienced ableism within both the abled community and the LP community, which is something I don't often talk about. I've been in situations where I feel alienated from my own community - additionally for my queerness. When you exist at the intersection of as many things as I do, you experience many flavours of ignorance and discrimination from the very people who should accept you.

That being said, I have also had the privilege of meeting other little people who are trans, queer, and nonbinary like I am. Our community is incredibly diverse, but spread along the globe. It is easy to feel a profound isolation, but the internet has provided me with a means of connection which I greatly appreciate.

Disability and queerness is something I discuss in depth in my public speaking roles, as I deeply value intersectionality in education and activism (I hope to share some of my talks as I record them in the future!).

I am forever painful aware that ableism is alive and will within the queer community - even when "all are welcome", we are still an after thought. I really urge my fellow queers to think beyond our own community to bipoc and disabled folks, otherwise you're really just dipping your toes into radicalism. Read more books by black disabled trans women of colour, and expand your thinking. (Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk lol)

I can't really speak to hate from the other direction, as all of the disabled folks I know on a personal level are also queer. Though I will say that I certainly receive queer-phobia from older (white) disabled folks - in my experience, when white folks become disabled with age and have not faced any other injustice in their life, they can be very hateful.

This has been quite a post, so I hope I've answered your questions in full! I would be happy to discuss it more if not/answer other related questions! Thank you so much!

Elliot (they/them)

[604to647]

Holidays in the 604

Hope everyone has been having a good holidays so far, however that looks for you or best suits your sensibilities 🥹🥰🫂🎄🎄

I started to write write some HCs for what the holidays might look like for the couples in a few of my series (Safest with You, The Rockford Portfolio, etc.) but for reasons below the cut, haven't had much energy or motivation to write (no need to read, it's a bit of a downer and kind of rambly!) - I'm hoping that I can find a little bit of both in the next few days and maybe get some thoughts down to still post.

For those same reasons, I haven't been on here much, to my detriment if I'm being honest - this place is a source of escapism for me and not being able to come on here for more than a few minutes a day has felt a bit offputting. I feel like I've missed a lot of amazing holiday stories that would have likely boosted my spirits a bit - I'll try to go back and find them but if you have or read any that you wish to recommend/share, please do let me know!

Similarly, thank you to everyone for your tags/mentions/asks - I want to get to them and maybe still participate in a few tag games if it's not too late when I muster up some energy. Thank you for thinking of me!! I truly wish that you all continue to have a lovely holiday season and look forward to ringing in the new year! You're all such a welcomed presence in my life and I'm grateful to each and every one of you for being here! Hope to see you soon 🥹 KISS KISS 😘😘

Ok, now as to why Emily has a bit of the holiday blues this year:

I didn't grow up with a lot of hard set Christmas traditions, celebrations around the end of the year didn't go much beyond the commercial and the holiday season was mainly appreciated for being time off (from school, work), a time to rest and relax. There was cheer and joy, but as the kids say these days, it wasn't that deep. I've since married into a family that puts A LOT of pressure on Christmas - with an emphasis on physical togetherness and adhering to traditions/customs, that (to me anyways) can feel at times more performative than enjoyable; I totally understand the comfort in doing things the way they've always been done, but a lot of times it feels like people are just checking things off a list rather than genuinely enjoying (for example) baking the Christmas cookies, you know what I mean? Couple that with my priorities for my kiddos' Christmas, the way we spend Christmas now can feel a lot like a season of obligation. Depending on what the particular plan is for that year, it can also be incredibly hard, draining, and not all that jolly for me.

This was one of those years.

I hosted the big Christmas dinner at my house and also had those from out of town staying with us for a week. I'm a Virgo who thinks of her home as her sanctuary, am a bit fastidious about her things, and sees value in being forthright. It's a lot for me to have people taking over my house, making messes, and pushing/crossing boundaries that I've tried to set due to previous visits, all while maintaining a certain level of holiday cheer and slapping on a facade of "it's fine" when I definitely don't feel that way. I'll admit I wasn't always successful this past week.

Mr. 604 is very supportive and knows his family can be a lot, but at the end of the day a) he's just a man 😂 (and not a miracle worker) and b) they are his family and he himself has had to "grin and bear" a great many things over the course of his life, so he has more practice at it but doesn't necessarily have any advice to impart on how to better cope with the chaos.

It makes me feel like a curmudgeon for not being able to suck it up more and pretend for the sake of the kids, or even to help maintain this performance of "family togetherness" that seems to be the whole point of whatever the heck everyone was doing. So this holiday season has thus far been exhausting, filled with guilt, and left me feeling a bit empty.

I am okay and recovering now, it will just take a few days I think. If you read this far - thank you! I just needed to rant a little bit - I don't feel much like myself these days and that in itself can be depressing, especially at a time when I'm supposed to be experiencing the opposite. Here's to some rest, some quiet, some peace in the last few days of 2024 for myself, Mr. 604, and anyone else who needs it! 🤞🏻🥰

[saltymongoose]

ohh my goodness. i've been waiting to send these until requests were open bc i wanted to hear ur thoughts.

might be a little silly, but consider: matching outfits. player gathers clothing materials!! and coordinates outfits one day on missions!!!! even makes props!!! hijinks ensue. idk if this had already been disscussed before, but thank you for your time and consideration, ily. you are so cool <<3333!!!!!!! everything you make is so scrumptious!!!!! <33

Omg, thank you, this is so nice of you!!! :D ❤❤❤❤ I love this art so much, you have no idea - the way you portray the boys here fits so well (as always lol). And the memes too omg!! I can't even put it into words to be honest with you, these are just excellent. I do feel slightly bad for that random grunt though, something tells me they'll be sleeping with one eye open after seeing that lmao.

(Also, thank you so much for the compliments too of course, you're far too kind. (˶⸃ ⴰ⸃˶)♡ I could say the same to you btw; your art is always just *chef's kiss* perfection.)

Anyhow, I've actually thought a bit about this scenario before, but this just inspired me, so I wrote some short hcs for you. Hope you like them! <3:

The Player Matches Outfits with Them ft. The Main 3 + 2BDamned

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior)

- [2BDAMNED] -

2BDamned knew that you had been working on a little project - one that you tried to keep as secret as possible. He was curious, but not enough to encroach on whatever boundary you set regarding it. All he knew from your rather lackadaisical explanation was that he'd be very surprised when he saw. And, well, he was.

The first conscious thought in 2BDamned's head is the question of how you've managed to make a mask that looks so similar to his without borrowing the original. It's really spot on; the seams are in the exact same place, and even if yours has to have been configured differently to fit your more human facial features, the silhouette is exactly the same.

(In the end, he concludes that you simply must've studied his appearance for a while to truly replicate his mask, which makes him feel almost giddy in a way he might've deemed embarrassing before meeting you. But now he's just overcome with happiness that you were obviously interested enough in him to do this.)

He openly praises your skill in sewing, knowing that grunt clothing is ordinarily much too large for you. And you'd notice how the fondness he holds for you seeps into the words, his gaze lingering on you in a way that left you feeling warm.

If you could see underneath his own mask, you'd be able to see the smile he was unable to bite back as well, and the flush that he'd try to will away otherwise. And while he is incredibly impressed (and happy) at what you've managed to put together, he will mention that you could also borrow his actual things once in a while, if you feel so inclined. He just happens to think one of his own jackets might suit you too.

(Of course, he doesn't miss the chance to lean real close to adjust your mask as he says this either, just to fluster you even more. You really have no idea how cute you are, especially looking like this.)

- [DEIMOS] -

A full minute of unintelligible sputtering leaves Deimos' lips the moment he sees your new outfit, and you laugh at the way his face goes bright red. When you said you had a surprise, this was one of the last things he expected.

Luckily for him, he's able to quickly gather his composure, and his excited ramblings turn into smooth flirts that'll leave you blushing instead of him. Expect all sorts of comments about how cute you looked dressed up like him, and praises about how you look even better in his fit than he does.

He insists on taking a ton of pictures together, and you can bet he keeps his favorite in his wallet. (It's one of your faces smushed together as you both grin at the camera, making a heart with your hands.)

He considers this a total power-couple thing; matching shirts are so low-effort compared to this, if anything it shows you perfect you are together. Although there is one thing he'd help you change from your original DIY version of his outfit - those sheet-metal dog tags you made can't compare to the real thing in his opinion, so why don't you just use one of his instead?

Also, don't think he won't take advantage of the fact that you both are the only ones with headsets. Even if yours isn't functioning (because let's be honest, finding one in working condition would be difficult), he'll fix it up quickly just so he can talk more directly to you during missions. And whenever else he wants to, to the irritation of the other three.

- [SANFORD] -

Sanford would consider his outfit to be fairly standard, but he recognized that you were emulating him the moment you slid the sunglasses on. And he couldn't stop the goofy smile from splitting his face when he realized it either, not even attempting to hide his amusement at what you've done.

(He only gets visibly happier when you 'threateningly' brandish your wire hook in his direction. You really put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?)

While Sanford has the amount of restraint in him to not openly brag about you doing this, he can't deny the rush of satisfaction he gets from seeing you in what is an unmistakable homage to him. If you look closely, you'll see him straighten up in pride whenever you come into view. (It's almost like preening, really. If he weren't so flushed, perhaps you'd think it to be more of an ego thing, but no.)

Although, he does show a little bit more concern about some aspects of your outfit. Like your boots, for example; he can't count the number of times he's gotten blisters while breaking in his own, so you should expect him to ask you if you need any plasters (or help bandaging yourself as well).

(If you decide to accept his offer, you'll find yourself questioning whether he ever officially trained as a medic before. He surely has the gentleness befitting of one, shown in how he carefully cleans your wounds and softly applies the ointment, his calloused fingers gently smoothing over the plasters on your Achilles heels afterward. Although you have the slightest suspicion that this tenderness from him is known only to you.)

Sanford will also make it part of his routine to pluck your glasses from your nose and clean them after he does his own. Afterward, he'll slowly lean in when he places them back on you to make sure he doesn't poke you in the eye. Neither of you mention that you could do it yourself, or that his decision to slide them back onto the bridge of your nose himself was highly unnecessary. Maybe he just does it to get a better look at the way you blink up at him and blush, or perhaps it's for some other reason, who's to say? Either way, you have no complaints.

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Your laughs are muffled under Hank's hands as he cups your face, tilting it up to look closely at you. His excitement at your new look is almost palpable; you can easily tell from how he's shaking and hurriedly looking over, his gaze never stopping on one spot for longer than a second. He just wants to take in everything about your new look, is all.

He'll almost insist on doing a mission with you wearing it, not only because the idea sounds fun to him (with his love of carnage and all), but also because it provides an excellent opportunity to rub in everyone else's faces that you chose to copy his outfit. Not theirs.

In a way, he also becomes just a tad more doting than usual. He busies himself with dusting you off, and adjusting your goggles and the lapels of your coat whenever another skirmish is finished. It's his way of checking you over and making sure your hard work wasn't damaged either.

(Plus, he'd hate it if this instance of you copying him was cut short because of some worthless grunts' attempts at harming you.)

You'll catch him sticking closer to you than usual too, and he does so for multiple reasons. First is that he just prefers to be near you whenever he can anyway (the warmth of your presence is one of his favorite things, and it gives ample opportunity to show off around you), but now there's also the fact that your outfit will freak out your enemies. As you can imagine, he enjoys that immensely, and what better way to improve this experience than to have his Player join him?

In a way, Hank also sees this as a sort of 'claim' you've put on yourself too. Wearing your significant other's clothing is kind of a thing with some grunts, and while he knows they aren't really his clothes, there's still some of that same sentiment there that makes him purr just a bit louder whenever he sees you in that new outfit of yours. It tells the world you're his in some way, even if not officially. So why wouldn't he be happy about that?

[badchoicesworld]

Heyyyy I really love ur writing! And also kind of ur vibe as a person 😳 but anyway!

Since you said we can be specific, I wanted to ask about Hobie getting a just a little bit flustered when receiving genuine heartfelt compliments and affection through words bc it catches him off guard. He'd also find the reader a bit naive at first only to find out that they're actually incredibly cunning and calculated. They just come across as naive bc they're so ridiculously sweet once they trust someone :3 (and it always looks like they trust quickly bc they have insane psychoanalytic abilities but now I'm rambling;;; (⁠´⁠⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠`⁠)! )

Hope this isn't too much ^^"

hobie realises you’re not as naive as he thought

hobie brown x gn!reader

omggg 😳 tyy anonnnn you got me blushing n shit 🤭 but no fr, ty that’s so sweet lmao <33 and no, this was perfect, ily

warnings: none

pairing: hobie brown x gn!reader

requests: masterlist plz

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

on first inspection, to hobie, you appear to be this person that trusts way too easily and immediately treats people way too kind for a person you just met- you seem clueless and completely naive when it comes to putting your trust in others since you’re so quick to do it

hobie doesn’t think it’s a bad trait at all to be inherently kind, but when you’re kind to literally everyone you immediately deem trustworthy, it’s like you’re looking to get hurt

he might occasionally have one of his rants to you about the ins and outs of the “real world”, propaganda that surrounds you, distracting you from the truth, the sharks at the top of it all, the people that would take advantage of you

there’s no ill intent, he just really thinks you’re gonna get hurt like that

and who wants that ?

so yeah, anyway, when he first meets you, he can basically see the switch once you’ve realised he’s trust worthy

you’re the sweetest person ever without prompt, and it admittedly looks like nativity to him at first

but because you now trust him, it means you’ll be a sweetheart to him

at first, it’s small compliments that he can appreciate- maybe something about his style or rebellious attitude that he’s heard all before

but you suddenly amp it up for no reason one day and it just completely turns the tides

if you’re aware of his secret identity, you change his perception of you completely when you basically soul read him

you manage to craft the most heartfelt, genuine, sincere acknowledgement of the sacrifices he’s made, along with genuine thanks and somehow stating the closest interpretation of his emotions that he’s ever heard before. from someone that isn’t him, anyway

hell, you’ve maybe even just helped him realise a few things about himself

he’s fucking gobsmacked

he stares at you as if you’ve just said the most outrageous but enlightening thing ever to be uttered

slack jawed, eyes wide, completely silenced for a solid while

he’s eventually able to process wtf you just said to him, and now he’s just trying to play it off with a really goofy grin that doesn’t hide he’s flustered

hobie’s doing all sorts with his hands to try distract the both of you- gestures while he tried to defend the little of his pride he has left, holding the back of his neck, maybe nudging you or shaking your whole frame

he gets the faintest idea that you might be just a little less naive than he though, but not entirely

that might have just been a lucky guess, after all

you’re definitely smarter in his eyes, though

depending on your status, if you’re a spider-person, from a different dimension, from his dimension- it doesn’t matter, he’s intrigued by you now

might brag a bit or be like “can you believe this?” when he sees you soul reading someone else

now there’s been multiple times throughout your guys’ friendship where you manage to slap him with some ungodly wisdom relating to him out of absolutely nowhere, and it never fails to catch him off guard

of course, hobie’s effortlessly cool, so being caught off guard is gonna keep making him feel a little vulnerable and flustered

especially when you just casually do one of the most in depth psychoanalysis of him ever for like the third time this week

he’s starting to think that you know something the rest of the multiverse doesn’t, how do you do that ?

“alright, alright! allow it, man, allow it.”

he’s laughing, but he’s also questioning where you stand in the world, are you secret intelligence ? tf is goin on

if you weaponise this ability to read people like an open book, then he can have fun with it

now it’s funny

especially if you guys are spider-people together and he just casually points out a villain you’ve been assigned to, with a look that says “ruin them”

this can also happen to random people on the street

it’s like how he can completely destroy peoples perception and faith in the establishment n all that, if you so choose, you can really make people feel seen or completely vulnerable or called out

after these encounters with bad people, he realises something about you

you’re somehow able to just know who to trust, and your guts never wrong

he wonders if it’s your spider-sense at first, if you have that

now he’s starting to piece everything together

you can easily distinguish between the good and bad people- the good you immediately trust and treat like an old friend

the bad, you never give the time of day

you’re always so quick to trust, and naive

but it’s starting to become clear to hobie that this isn’t nativity, you just have an uncanny ability to know people before they even introduce themselves

it’s kind of reassuring in a way, if he’s ever doubtful about someone, he’ll go to you and be like “thoughts?” then you can relay this insanely detailed psychoanalysis of this person you’ve just met

now he sees you as this incredibly insightful person, a lovely individual who has the potential to ruin lives with your insane ability to call people out

bonus:

if you guys are spider-people together, you’re both pretty well known for running your mouths

you instil fear

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

as always, lemme know if this ate or not and i’ll try my best to fix it !

[blogurlnotfound]

Drumming - Doctor Who x Reader

hiii this is my first fic in about 4 years probably :) this is obviously a new account, so yeah that's why there's nothing else here. um anyways, i definitely got incredibly carried away with this, did not have an idea going into it (still think it ended up great), 12 is probably out of character, and i somehow wrote it in under 3 hours??

anyway, I hope it's enjoyable! and please let me know your thoughts :)

12th Doctor x Reader

(really student/professor but can be romantic or platonic, whatever vibes you catch.)

Word Count: 2,600+

Summary: You have been hearing a drumming in your head. One, two, three, four. It's been affecting your mental state, and you haven't been to class in a while. Maybe your professor, The Doctor, is able to help figure this out?

Warnings: mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts. any gender reader, but makeup mentioned.

A drumming had been haunting you for months as you slept.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

It would sound non-stop until you couldn't bear it any longer, and woke up. Every time you would wake up the same: in a cold sweat, panting, with tear streaks running down your face.

Each day the drumming's effect on you grew. It was affecting your mental state immensely. You felt a deep pain and sadness hanging over you like a cloud most days. You wouldn't be able to get out of bed, much less go to classes. You weren't hungry often, and couldn't eat when you were. You avoided your friends and your schoolwork, occasionally texting your parents to keep them from worrying.

You weren't sure if your professors noticed your absences. They hadn't reached out to you in any way. It's not like they'd notice you in the sea of students. They must see hundreds a day anyways.

It's not like anybody would notice you anyway. At least that's what the drumming would whisper to you.

One, two, three, four.

You keep to yourself. Don't have any close friends in your classes, and not many close friends at school in general. Nobody really knew who you were. Your favorite color. Childhood pets. How long it takes you to sleep. How often you're awoken by the drumming.

One, two, three, four.

Nobody would notice if you're gone.

One, two, three, four.

They don't even notice when you're there.

One, two, three, four.

-+-

You wake up. In a cold sweat. Panting. You reach both your hands to your face and rub your palms on your cheeks. Tears were cleared from your face and now sat on your hands. You sit up and release a heavy sigh. It's like the sigh has been waiting to escape all night. Like your body was relieved to be released from the nightmare drumming.

You decide to get out of bed, an easier decision than previous day's had been. You stretch your limbs and yawn. You walk to the bathroom and face your reflection. Today was going to be okay.

Or will it be.

One, two, three, four.

"It will be. Today will be okay." You affirmed to yourself in the mirror. You let out another sigh, smiled at yourself softly, and began your morning routine.

You do your make-up while watching a video. You found that taking the time to do your make-up gave you time to relax, breathe, and be yourself. You felt better about your days when you take this extra time to yourself in the morning. So, whenever you manage to get out of bed, you try to manage doing make-up too.

The video you watched was just of some guy unnecessarily analyzing a TV show you liked. He went into extreme detail about small details from the show and created theories about why certain things happened and what might happen next. You enjoyed his content. He reminded you of one of your professors.

He was a very kind old man who you can tell cares deeply about everything he talks about. He has a Scottish accent that somehow grows stronger with excitement. He's enthusiastic and rambles, and never really has a set course of taking points. He just lets his mind and his heart lead him. Saying whatever he finds most awestrucking and veering off topic drastically. In fact, you weren't really sure what the class was meant to be about.

The course description when signing up simply said, "Discussion-based class, humanities topics." The syllabus was no extra help, practically said the same thing with all the extra school required information listed. But it fulfilled your humanities credit, and the first day was interesting enough, so you stayed in the class.

Thinking about the professor, The Doctor, just The Doctor, made you want to go to his class. You checked the time on your phone. It did start in a little over two hours. You finished getting ready and then waited.

You waited maybe fifteen minutes before getting bored. You quickly put your bag together and walked out your door, then your building, into the outside would. It had been at least thirty-two hours since you were last outside. The air felt cool against your skin, reviving your senses and making you softly smile to yourself. You could hear the wind rustle the branches of nearby trees that swayed. Somehow, these trees looked the same as ever, and more beautiful than ever.

You turn around in a full circle and take in the Earth around you. She really is beautiful. You don't sit with her enough.

With new energy in your body, the dark cloud caused by the drumming smaller than ever, you walk around your campus mindlessly. Every step you take grounds you to the Earth, reminding you that the drumming can't be real.

One, two, three, four.

It isn't real.

-+-

You take a seat in the auditorium where The Doctor's class is held. You gently place your bag on the floor next to you and wait as the seats pile up. Five minutes later the room is almost full, and the tall man with short grey hair walks in, greeting the class with a Scottish, "Hello!" as he places his bag down and immediately starts writing on the chalkboard.

"Music." is written on the board. He swiftly turns around on his heel. He stops and makes direct eye contact with you. He stares for a moment, a twinkle in his eye. He diverts his attention from you and begins speaking,

"So," he clasps his hands, "who wants to tell me the importance of music to humanity?"

Hands shoot up all around you. You had been missing a fun class.

-+-

The class ends and you have a beaming smile on your face. You hadn't realized truly how fun and entrancing The Doctor was. Every student was hooked on his every word, waiting for what insane piece of information would come flying out of his mouth next. Every student including you.

The class was packing their bags and leaving around you. You heard groups starting to chat. Friends laughing loudly.

You don't have friends like that here. Your smile falls.

One, two, three, four.

A tap on the wooden desk in front of you wakes you from your thoughts, a Scottish voice accompanying it, "Are you okay, y/n? I noticed you haven't been to class in a while."

You looked up at The Doctor, no doubt admiration for him and sadness from your thoughts filling your eyes. He could read your eyes. He could read the pain and the sadness. He's felt it before.

"You noticed?" You stifled out.

"Of course I noticed." His face softened, "All of my students are important to me."

"But there's so many of us?"

"So?"

You didn't have a response to that. You suppose he was right. You just looked down at your bag, grabbed it, and started to stand up.

"Would you like to come into my office?"

You looked at him, confused and shocked.

"Just for lunch and to discuss whatever is going on. If you'd like." You look at him, still confused. Your head cocks slightly to one side, and your mouth begins to open, but The Doctor beats you to it, "I lost a student not too long ago. Her name was Bill. Bill Potts. I miss her a lot, you see, she was more than just my student. She was also my friend. She made me better. I can see her in you, and I would hate to... " He pauses, "I'm just worried about how many classes you've missed. You may not be able to pass my course."

You're really confused now. The gears are turning in your head, processing his confession of loss turned into you not passing the class. The Doctor can see the gears turning on your face, in the way your eyebrows scrunch intensely and your pupils move back and forth. You close your eyes, relax your face, and look at him with a smile.

"I would like to go to your office, yeah. Thank you." Your eyes are sincere, and when you meet his, so are they.

You follow him a short ways through campus to his office. His steps and your steps opposite. Like the drumming.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

You try to ignore it. You try really hard but can't. You stop walking, and the drumming stops. You sigh in relief, The Doctor looks back at you with concern.

"Sorry," you say, catching up to him with a smile, "I thought I saw something."

"Like what?" He asks, curiosity filling his face.

"Oh, nothing." You weren't expecting him to ask. You didn't know what to say.

He hums in response, picking up pace until you're at his office. It's a huge room with a desk in the middle, you take a seat on one side of it while The Doctor sits opposite. He has many picture frames on his desk, and a mysterious blue police box in the corner you can't take your eyes off.

One, two, three, four.

"What's that?" you ask, pointing at the box before you can help yourself.

"A police box. It's from London in the 60's. I'm a bit of a collector of sorts."

He had this lie down pat. But you could tell he wasn't being truthful, you didn't know how, but you knew. You didn't press on about the box. You just nodded and smiled, "That's cool."

He nodded too. "Let's talk about why you've been missing class. Is everything okay back home? Anything I can do to help?"

One, two, three, four.

Something compelled you to be honest with him. Again, you didn't know what. He felt familiar. Of course you've known him the whole semester, but it felt more than that. You feel safe. You feel seen. You feel known. You knew when he lied to you just a second ago, but why?

One, two, three, four.

"Can I be honest?" you make eye contact with him, "Like, you won't lock me up in the looney bin for being crazy?" He's about to say something but you interrupt him, "And won't get me kicked out of the school or, or, I don't know, send me off to get government testing?"

He's confused now. But curious too. You can tell he's interested in what you're saying, he wants to know more. It doesn't feel like he's going to judge you. "Yes, you can be honest. You can trust me."

"Promise?" You hold out your pinky. Sure it's silly, but silly makes it more meaningful, more powerful, somehow.

He chuckles and interlocks your pinkies, "Promise."

"Okay." You stop to think.

One, two, three, four.

"So I have this noise in my head."

One, two, three, four.

"It's like drumming. One, two, three, four."

One, two, three, four.

The Doctor stiffens. "And it won't stop, Doctor." you continue. "And it's like it's affecting my thoughts. They're all negative and I'm depressed and it hurts. It really hurts, Doctor." Tears are streaming down your face. You weren't even aware talking about this would make you cry. And you didn't know why you told The Doctor about it.

After a moment of thinking, The Doctor moves from his chair and towards you. His movements are stiff. As if he's nervous. He knows something you don't. He leans down and wraps his arms around you, your head at his chest. You cry harder, and he pulls you closer in comfort.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

The drumming was louder than ever. In your head and in your ears. It's not scary anymore though. You move your head away from The Doctor to release you from the hug. The drumming stops. You reach out to his chest without asking, without thinking.

On your hand you feel two heartbeats.

One, two, three, four.

You put your other hand to your own heart. Only one heartbeat. One, two.

Why did he have two heartbeats. One, two, three, four. Why was his the drumming.

"Why-" you start, but need to close your eyes and breathe, "Why does your heart sound like the drumming. Why do you have two heartbeats?"

"Follow me." He walked to the blue police box, opened the door and went inside. You sat there for a moment stunned. Then you cleared your face from your tears and got up. You made your way towards the box, looking at the door before walking inside.

You looked around in amazement. You couldn't believe what you were seeing. Your face broke out into a huge grin. You ran outside and back inside. "This defies all laws of physics! How is it-? It's?" You looked at him expectantly.

"C'mon, I know you want to say it." He had an equally bright, shit-eating grin.

"It's bigger on the inside!"

He laughed with his whole chest and body. His laugh was contagious.

"This," he gestures around the room, "is my T.A.R.D.I.S. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. And I'm a Time-Lord from the planet Gallifrey. We have two hearts, hence the two heartbeats."

You look at him; confusion, amazement, admiration and more displayed on your face.

"Now I don't know why you're hearing my species' heartbeats in your head, but I'm going to figure it out." He looks at you and smiles, you can't help but smile back, "If you want to come with me?"

"With you where?" you ask.

"Anywhere! In the whole wide universe. Not really sure where to start to help you though. Or when for that matter?"

You've never been so confused so many times in the span of one day. "But I have other classes? And don't you too?" Something clicks in your brain, "And what about my parents? And I barely know you! No offense, Doctor. I can't go traveling with someone I don't know."

"If anyone can help you, y/n, it's me. There might not be anyone else in the whole universe." You look at him, desperate now after hearing his words. "And as for your other classes and your family- TARDIS, t," he said, dragging out the sound, "stands for time. She's a time machine. Can take you right back to this moment." He smiled confidently, and made his way towards the center of the room where some sort of console was. He puts his hands on a lever, and looks at you again.

"What?" You asked, awestruck.

"Let me show you." Mischief flashes across his face, but you can tell it's more childlike than malicious. Which is odd for a man who is likely in his sixties.

A whirring sound comes from the center. The door slams shut and the lights start fluctuating. You find it hard to steady yourself as the floor becomes unstable.

"Grab onto something!" The Doctor yells. You do, a railing a few feet away. You grab on tight and try to stand up right. The Doctor is laughing with joy.

One, two, three, four.

The drumming in your head is drowned out by the TARDIS whirring. The whirring sound would soon become a new comfort. And the TARDIS a new home. And The Doctor, he would soon become the most special and fantastic person in your life.

You knew today was going to be a good day. And there are thousands more to come. Thousands more with The Doctor.

He was going to stop the drumming in your head, no matter what he had to do.

[zanazirafanfic]

Charles and Kotallo

Been getting into Horizon a bit lately, and of course Kotallo became my favorite almost immediately. (Who's surprised? No one.) I couldn't resist asking @noshirdalal what he thought would happen if Charles and Kotallo were ever able to meet, since I see a lot of parallels between them and their personal journeys. I asked what they might discuss, and what they could teach one another.

This was his answer (transcription under the vid below the cut). I did have to chop off a couple of seconds from each end to make it fit in the under-10-minute limit, and have noted those lines in brackets in the transcript, but none of the answer itself is missing, only the intro.

As always, very insightful, and thought-provoking.

I have some years of martial arts experience myself in the past, and I agree that you do learn different things about a person sparring with them versus speaking to them. I can definitely imagine Charles and Kotallo needing to lock horns and test each other before they can let their guards down enough to have any kind of meaningful conversation.

I personally like to think there would be an unspoken but strong mutual respect between them pretty early on, an understanding of how it feels to be judged and labeled an outcast among your peers for things entirely beyond your control. Both have to constantly fight to prove - to themselves and everyone else - that they're more than the labels placed on them by society, and try to stay kind and levelheaded despite the myriad reasons it's easier to be callous and cruel. I think each would recognize and empathize with that struggle in the other. Of course it's helpful having friends like Arthur and Aloy who see and accept Charles and Kotallo for the flawed people they are (and likewise, it's helpful for Arthur and Aloy in return). But I think knowing, as Noshir said, that there's "a similar soul on the journey with them" would have made such a difference, especially for Charles. Even though they're roughly the same age, Charles seems a lot "younger" in terms of his search for inner peace and belonging. When I think about his line at the campfire, "Other human beings seem to understand why they were born but, for me... it seems like I was born to hurt and suffer myself..." I think knowing how Kotallo's story turns out would've given him so much hope, especially in the years between losing Arthur and reuniting with John.

Anyway, just rambling now. I love these characters so much, and I'm so thankful to be able to hear headcanons from the man who gave them life.

Thank you again, Noshir, it means the world!

Transcript (cut lines due to upload time constraints are bracketed):

[Hey, Zana. Oh man, I love your question, especially 'cause Kotallo and Charles are just two characters that I love so much.]

They do have a lot of similarities, huh? They both, I think - my headcanon, I suppose - they've both been betrayed by their fathers. They both have, at some point feel like they've lost their purpose. I think they're both incredibly proficient at combat, but struggle because they don't want to be defined purely through their ability to destroy other people. And I think they're both seeking redemption, of sorts. 

Yeah, that's really interesting. That's really interesting. 

So, if Kotallo and Charles were to meet [laughing], what would they do? Honestly, I think they would fight. Not fight because they're being adversarial. They're both men of action, and I think both of them carry a lot of suspicion, at best, for people who do a lot of wordsmithing, you know?

I'm a martial artist myself, and it's interesting when you... When you cross hands with someone you get a better understanding of who they are, in a way that in the normal everyday you just don't. You learn how they deal with pressure, you learn how they deal with pain, how they deal with adversity, how they see the world. How much control they have over themselves, how disciplined they are, how proud they are. Does their ego run the show? Are they easy to manipulate? And just kind of at the core of who they are, like, how quickly do they break? And I think that would be a test of mettle that they just couldn't pass up.

And while I think the victor would show mercy, I think they'd be out to kill each other. To see how far it can go. 'Cause that's really where you learn about a person. But then after that I think they'd be great friends. [laughs]

As far as like the things they would talk about and what they would teach each other, well that's really interesting, because, um... Y'know I think Charles comes from a land where all of both predator and prey are organics, right? Whereas for Kotallo, the vast majority of both predator and prey for him is mechanical. And they're very different.

So I guess it would depend on what world they're living in, right? If they're living in Charles's world, then I think... I mean what a magical place that would be for Kotallo. Like, tracking by spoor and all these other traits that, like, animals have that you don't have with machines. And then for - vice versa, if it was in Kotallo's world, Charles would have to learn very very quickly that even with the sawed-off, he can't just go in blasting. These things require tactics and precision, that he'd be very capable of because of his work with the bow.

But y'know, you shoot a deer with a bow, and if your skill is poor, I mean at worst you'd miss completely, right? But I guess the next worst thing would be to injure the animal and cause it to suffer without actually killing it. And then it runs off, and now you have to track it, and all this other stuff. Whereas in the world of Horizon, I mean if you don't severely injure or kill that - that robot, there's a good chance it turns on you, and all of its peers turn on you, and you're dead. So... [laughs] a very different circumstance. 

I wonder how long, if ever, it would take for them to open up about the redemption that they're each seeking. Y'know, Charles from his darker past, when he was really, you know, driven by fury. And then Kotallo - this is my headcanon, but - I think he's scarred by the things he did at Barren Light. That would be really interesting. And to hear, like, y'know, Charles try to talk to Kotallo about his best friend Arthur and what he's like and stuff, and Kotallo trying to talk about his best friend Aloy and what she's like. Oh man, that'd be a trip. [laughs] I think there'd be a lot of fun conversations to be had. Yeah...

As far as things that they could teach one another, besides the things we talked about with like tracking and - and the killing of the inhabitants of either world... It's funny, I think they'd actually learn a lot by watching the way the other one interacts with the people in that world. Both what to do, but I think a lot of also what not to do.

I think they're both very socially awkward, and really struggle with that. And I wonder if they each wouldn't have more courage to kind of put themselves out there a little bit knowing that there is kind of a - a similar soul on the journey with them. I think Kotallo would teach Charles a lot about visual art, sculpture, painting, color. And Charles would teach Kotallo a lot about music. Harmonica, song. I think they'd complement each other really well. 

[I love that question. Thanks so much for that.]

[theycalledhimastar]

>w< HELLO AGAIN, IF YOU HAVE TIME LEFT

Nikolai , price and ghost with So with likes video games books and all nerdy stuff OWO

Hallo >w<! Of course, I'm a bit of a nerd myself and I totally love the idea of at least Price having like a total nerd of a partner, it feels so cute! I wasn't sure if you meant like a soldier or civilian, so I left it mostly ambiguous <3

☄. *.

Various X Gn!reader

(prolly a little ooc, that's my bad lol. Put my entire soul into Nik's, can you tell?)

Nikolai ☄. *.

I like to think that Nik is a bit of a nerd himself, he feels like the kind of person to dabble in older, retro type video games. Like I feel that this man has a figurine collection, all in the box, mint condition, the works. So when he meets you and realizes that he FINALLY has someone else that he can talk about his interests with, he is over the moon!

He'll just be working on something, maybe some blueprints, maybe he's chatting with John about an upcoming plan. He'll ask you to sit there and tell him everything about that new game you got. Or the newest release from your favorite author. "I just adore the graphics, and the voice acting is amazing!"

"Sounds much better than your last purchase, you were distraught about that one."

"Oh, it's five times better, and this one was free too! I had to like fight fifty other people to try and download it when it released but it was so worth the lag, because-"

He might not always follow what you're saying, especially when you get really into your rambling about game mechanics and such, but he just loves hearing you so happy about something.

If you ever got him any kind of action figure or even something similar, he would actually potentially start crying because like... You got that for him??? You cared that much about him??? that makes him so happy, regardless of the fact that it was a bootleg version of one he already had, it's 100 percent the thought that counts. (Also the official one cost him like a small fortune, if you actually got him one, he would likely worry about your finances.)

He would be the type to cosplay cute little couples cosplays with you. Especially if it's something you both enjoy watching together, he might even be the one to suggest it in that case. Doesn't matter if it's halloween, comic con, or even just because you feel like it. He thinks that the idea is such a fun one, and he's never been able to do it before. Now that he can, there's no way he's gonna throw away the chance.

He probably met you when he was browsing through the game store that you worked at. Off duty, just looking to see if you had anything that he had yet to collect. (Which wasn't likely, but one could hope.) You were restocking the shelves and something caught his eye, although it wasn't the array of colorful plastic figures. It was the cute worker that had an armful of them. None of them were new, but he wasn't about to miss his shot to try and talk to you a little bit.

"Is there any new stock coming in?"

"Pardon me?"

"New stock, new figurines. I like to collect them, but I've already got the ones that the store has on the shelves." He explains awkwardly, thinking about backpedaling and just leaving.

"Oh! No, we don't have anything new, I don't think, sorry." You gave him that customer service smile, trying to be polite of course. Although you appreciate that someone comes here for something other than their child's gaming hobby. "Y'know, it's pretty impressive that you've collected all of those. We have a large selection, I can't imagine how expansive something like that would be."

He does a double take, his heart skips a beat for a moment. You're impressed? By him???

"Yes, I like collecting various pieces, this store is the best place to get them for a reasonable price..." the silence is incredibly uncomfortable, so he breaks it almost immediately. "Do you? Collect, I mean. Even just like cards or something similar?"

"No, my paycheck doesn't really allow for that. Although I have managed to harbor my video game addiction somehow." Your little joke makes him crack a smile and wow this guy is attractive...

"Really now? What do you play?" Maybe he would have to frequent this shop a little more often...

John ☄. *.

John probably dabbled a little bit in video games as a young man, before he enlisted, but he never considered himself the type that was worthy of the "nerd" title. He gladly listens to you though when you talk about the lore for Lord of the Rings for an hour straight. (don't ask him about anything you said the entire time, please...)

He's as supportive as the next guy, but he just does not understand the appeal of all those video games you play. In his mind, so many of them look repetitive. You scream at the screen more often than you seem to be enjoying yourself, even with the cozy games. He admires the dedication to the craft, but for fuck's sake, please step away from the keyboard. You look like you're going to snap it over your knee...

Books, however, he can get on with, same thing with movies. Newer ones, good old classics, doesn't matter. He's always down to sit and watch an entire movie marathon with you snuggled up next to him under a soft blanket. He doesn't mind, even when you start commenting on every little fun fact that you remember from the film documentary you watched a while back. "Did you know that the line right there was improvised by the actor? They thought it matched up with the character better than the original line." "Hm. I'd agree to that, mate knows the character better than the script does."

Takes you to game stores so that you can buy whatever you want with his credit card. What else is he going to be doing with everything he has sitting around from working in the SAS? Don't even worry about it, he wants you to be happy and what better way to show affection than getting you that limited edition signed copy you wanted?

He'd regularly take you out on movie dates, just to have an excuse to sneak kisses in the back row during the fight scenes because nothing important happens during those. Kissing down the side of your neck while the main character fights some minor side character, you're trying to focus on the screen but you can't help leaning into his touch just a little bit.

"John..." "mmh?" "What're you doing?" "Nothing... Just keep watchin' love. Someone's gotta watch and tell me what happened later."

Menace to the rest of the theatre, best hope it's a late viewing or something, because man isn't all that worried about being seen. Is it a crime to show some affection in public? He thinks not. You better get home before he decides that he wants a lil more than affection-

Simon ☄. *.

Honestly, he has no clue what the hell you're on about most of the time. Like he tries his best, but all he hears is utter nonsense. Not to say he doesn't listen, because he does, he straight up memorizes what you say, even if he doesn't know what it is. He won't ever tell you, but if he has extra free time, he tries to research and watch/read whatever it is that you love so much.

Sometimes he finds it intriguing, so much so, that he becomes a bigger fan of it than you are. (Low key what happened when you introduced him to farming games, man is an absolute beast at cozy games now and you're not sure whether you're proud or jealous of how much better his island is than yours in Animal Crossing.

"How did you get apples!? No fair!" "It's called being good at something, love."

Stares at you sideways if you ask him to play a FPS with you, like "I literally play that for a living, why would I do that?".

Lets you cozy up in his lap while you read your latest fantasy novel, nodding along when you make comments about what's happening in the chapter. He's not listening, he's too busy staring at you and thinking about how much he loves you, but cut the guy some slack, you're prettymuch giving him footnotes about a book he doesn't read.

Comments about the realism of the previously mentioned FPS when you play them. It'd be funny if you weren't in the middle of a ranked match while he was ranting.

"What are those muppets doing?" "trying to kill me, Si." "They're doin' a shit job of it. A proper waste of ammo." "Yeah, well, I'll let em know that."

Just about died when he saw you in cosplay of one of your favorite characters, stared at you with those big ass eyes and asked you kindly what the fuck you were wearing.

"It's cosplay, Simon. Like a costume?" "You look..." "Watch yourself, Riley." "Unique. Why again, are you wearing this?" He looked you up and down, holding his tongue surprisingly well. "Because it's fun, Simon. It's a character I really like, and I made most of this myself." You gave a slow turn so that he could see all of the detail and hard work you had put into the clothing. "Not sayin' it doesn't look good, just sayin' you look proper strange in a getup like that."

Bro says this all like he doesn't run around on the field in a skull mask like some edgy middle schooler. He means well, and afterwards, he'll admit that you looked plenty nice and you clearly worked hard on it. But don't just walk up on him like that.

[mamawasatesttube]

I feel so shy not being able to hide in the anon asks but for the sake of desperation I'll ask anyway.

First of all I must say that I love the way you express yourself, because even though you are against some things, or at least you don't like them. You express it so well and so respectful that's addicting.

Anyway the questions were what you thought about Tim+Kon+Bernard, because I've seen a lot of people talking about it but I don't know if it makes much sense if you think of their relationship.

Also if you had some songs that reminded you of Kon I'd love the recs! Because I'm still a newbie in the whole DC comics, but I've been having a Kon brain rot for a while.

Sorry if I don't express myself correctly, English isn't my first language. If any of this makes you uncomfy please feel free of ignoring me and I hope you have plenty of good days!!💕💕 Be careful to not catch a cold

aww thank you that's very sweet of you to say!!! :D i do love to simply start talking and rambling all the time. one of my top skills. (and yeah i turned off anon asks a while ago because unfortunately talking about racism in fandom often gets you labelled a bitch with a terrible personality 😔✊ alas!)

as for tim/kon/bernard ... i really, really dislike that ship. it takes everything i already strongly dislike about tim/ber (tim drake: robin is the worst comic i've ever read, and i'm including jeph loeb's supergirl when i say this), and multiplies it by a factor of about 500.

my biggest problem with tim/ber is that megfitz wrote them with absolutely no actual chemistry. there is nothing in the text to tell me why they actually like each other. there is nothing in the text that tells me what the issues in their relationship are, or how they might grow together as people, or anything. which is absolutely insane because you'd think "bernard knows tim's secret identity, but has not told tim that he knows" would be a MAJOR point of conflict, but instead it's just completely glossed over to the point of the comic asking us to accept that the bats would ever allow a mob of random civilians on a mission with them. there's stretching suspension of disbelief, and then there's putting suspension of disbelief on the medieval torture rack and tearing it apart. like. come ON. (tdr is also like. teehee gentrification but its cute? which is insane to me in a different way. its just. its so bad. its such a bad comic.)

so adding kon to that mix kind of gives me hives because a) we have all of my issues with tdr being incredibly inconsistent, both internally and with all existing tim characterization ever, and b) it brings up all of my issues with how kon has been written since yj2019. which i could get into Yet Again but in the interests of being at least a little bit concise, it's also incredibly inconsistent and drives me bonkers. so the concept of this ship just makes me go "why the FUCK" because i just truly genuinely cannot fathom why kon and bernard would ever give a shit about each other. i can barely even fathom why tim and bernard give a shit about each other because megfitz did the comic script equivalent of picking up two barbie dolls and mashing them together and going LOOK THEYRE IN LOVE. they have no consistent characterization under her pen.

so adding kon into that just makes me want to tear my hair out a little bit because. like. to be entirely honest i don't know how some random dude from one of tim's many high schools who tim was friendly with, sure, but not particularly close with, can hold a candle to Whatever The Fuck Tim And Kon Have Going On. especially with how flat their relationship reads to me in tdr (what do they even like about each other??? why is bernard in fucking biophysics or whatever while wanting to be a chef??? why does tim not go "you know culinary school exists right??" when he finds out??? how am i supposed to believe that tim "duty" drake would ever leave people in a burning building just for his sad boyfriend??? that batman and co would ever let a bunch of civilians fight alongside them - or for that matter, that they'd need bernard to tell them tim's in trouble?? what the fuck alternate dimension are they from where any of this makes sense???). tim/ber just is such a nothing ship to me that adding kon to it is just like. EXTREME nothing. to me tim/ber/kon is basically a flag that says "i don't care about characterization" and it's just so very deeply NOT my thing at all whatsoever.

...which is why to ME tim's first boyfriend is ives, not bernard, and in this essay i will--

ahem. anyways!! re: kon songs, oh man i have a lot. i have a whole playlist even. with a linked document to explain every song choice. i also lately have been thinking about making a second playlist for all the songs that didn't make it onto the first one!! much to consider.

also don't worry your english is totally fine ♥ and it's very sweet of you to wish me well healthwise and also a little funny because actually i am just getting over a cold that had me sniffly and miserable most of last week. but i'm much better tonight so yippee!! thank you again :D

[chrysaliswife]

Ok so know im late to the party BUT,,,, heres my mlp infection au lol, unnecessary lore ramblings under the cut if ur interested but also CW for like, trypophobia???

Ok so *tucks hair behind ear lol* this is actually a curse that behaves like a virus cast by Queen Chrysalis before she turns to stone at the very end of the series teehee

The curse originally only impacts unicorns, who spread it through biting others, which is why Starlight (and most other unicorns) dont have bite marks, or are disembowled to a certain degree

Earth ponies and pegasi however, can only contract the virus through bite marks from infected unicorns, which is why they are often very gruesome and gorey looking, typically turning at a much faster rate than the unicorns who were originally affected

The curse (or the changeling virus) rewires ponies to only be able to feed off of love, in the same way changelings used feed off love, causing normal food to longer be nutritional anymore. Due to the virus blocking magic in infected unicorns, and regular ponies lacking the same abilities changelings have to consume love, the only way they can get the same satisfaction is by consuming others

The only unicorns uninfected (outside of the Crystal Empire) are Twilight and Rarity, as Twilight cast a protection shield around her and her friends when she realized that Queen Chrysalis was charging up one final spell (unknowingly saving the two of the from the curse). Princess Cadence, her family and any unicorns in the Crystal Empire are also unaffected due to the magic properties of the Crystal Heart protecting them

Each species acts different from each other once they fully succumb to the virus, but theyre all incredibly dangerous

●Unicorns are more likely to stalk ponies and attack at night, especially if the pony is (or looks similar to) someone they knew pre-infection. They hang back just far enough that theyre not an immediate threat, but will always keep targets within their line of sight and strike when least expected.

●Pegasi typically hunt in small flocks (two or three), and take to the skies if able. Theyre especially odd as they almost work together, similar to pre-infection, however the goal is to separate groups of ponies together to make them easier to overcome. Despite the teamwork, they are territorial with their prey once caught.

●Earth ponies are known to charge other ponies, (including the infected). Actively hunting and chasing them down until the victims tire out and are caught, or are lost. Often stopping at nothing to catch their prey, unless they are completely unable to move, the chase never ends. Should they catch up, they often stampede over their victim, efficiently subduing them.

Here are some doodles on how pegasi and earth ponies might looks at late stage infection *bats eyelashes*

If you read all of this tysmmm i hope u liked it and id love to know ur thoughts :) hehe

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Salvia Splendens Means Forever Mine - Part Four

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 2.5k

TW: kissing, pg-13 thoughts, pg-18 thoughts, talk of sex, mentions of death, trauma of death, lots of flowers, mentions of violence, basically anything mentioned in the last chapter is a tw here

A/N: God thank you all for being so fucking patient with me. I really appreciate you all!! I hope you enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Spencer’s lips were on your shoulder as he tightened his grip on you. His arm was wrapped securely around your waist, your back against his chest. You grumbled something unintelligible, but Spencer just hummed in response, kissing your bare shoulder again. 

“What are we going to do with you Doctor Spencer Reid.” 

He laughed quietly, his voice still gravely since he also just woke up. 

Mornings with Spencer always went like this. The two of you had been living together for over a month now, and you couldn’t be happier. Waking up next to the love of your life had major benefits. 

The first was morning sex. Waking up to Spencer kissing your neck, and your chest, and lips. Lazily breathing together, moving with one another. Feeling as his chest rose and fell while you riled him up and teased him endlessly. It was incredible. People seemed to notice your mood change when you showed up to work too, which definitely had its own set of perks. It was basically the best way to wake up, in your opinion. 

Then, there was the fact that you got to wake up and enjoy how gorgeous he was, how beautiful his eyes were. Watching as he finally was able to relax, stress free putty in your hands, melting as you played with his hair and whispered about nothing and everything to him. 

But the best part about waking up next to Spence, was that you got to start your days with him, knowing you’d get to come back home after work, sleep beside him, and wake up next to him all over again. It felt surreal at times. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours? I can hear the gears turning.” Spence muttered, kissing your shoulder this time. 

Your body rolled in his arms, causing you to face him, kissing his cheek softly. “How much I love you.” 

You felt Spencer freeze for a moment, and you looked up to find his eyes on you. 

“You…”

“You don’t have to say it back Spence.” You slid your hand up, and cupped his jaw. “It’s a really big commitment. But you not saying it immediately back doesn’t mean you don’t care about me or don’t love me back. You might just not be ready to say it out lou–”

“Look who’s the one rambling now?” He smirked slightly, making fun of your conversation from the previous night, in which you cut him off with a kiss when he was too busy telling you about something that wasn’t relevant to the task at hand. Spencer followed your model and cut you off with a kiss that you melted into. “I love you too.” 

______________________________________________________________

Spencer had been sitting next to your hospital bed for a whole day now. He was exhausted, hungry, dehydrated, covered in blood, and looked like shit–but none of that mattered since you had been in a medically-induced coma since the ambulance brought you to the hospital. 

Watching as you coded not one, but twice during the ride to the hospital just continued to confirm Spencer’s greatest fear. Hearing your heartbeat flatline is something he never ever wants to experience again. Ever.

The room was filled with vases of flowers. It made the air sickly sweet, the bitter opposite of how he was feeling, looking down at your sleeping body. But he knows you would have found some of them funny. 

There was a vase of red and white camellias, meaning you were the “flame” of someone’s heart, but also adorable. Someone else had sent you declarations of love (red tulips) with hints of declaring war (tansies) throughout. But the one from Spencer was the best. 

He had bought you a bouquet of red poppies: meaning consolation. Spencer had gotten you a consolation prize for being on the team and getting stabbed in the stomach. He was hoping your sense of humor would still be intact when you woke up. If not, then they were also from Derek. 

Just then, the machine made a sound Spencer hadn’t heard before. Then it made it again. A long beep, loud enough to wake the dead, but somehow not you. A nurse came running in and ushered him out of the room, much to his opposition. 

He fought with two different nurses, trying to stay in the room with you. Apparently having three Phds means nothing when they aren’t the right ones to keep him in that room with you. And regardless of his relationship status, he was now stuck back in the waiting room with the other peasants. 

“So….”

Spencer looked up at Derek. 

“So?”

“How long.”

“Not in the mood right now Derek.” 

“No, no. I wanna know–how long have you two been sneakin’ around. I mean, for gods sake Reid, you managed to keep a relationship hidden from some of the best profilers in the country..” 

“Well.” He grumbled, looking back at the hallway you were down. “Over a year now–almost two.” 

“I’m sorry–two? Two years?.” 

Spencer nodded, looking back at Derek. 

“Damn.” He muttered,  shaking his head. “Now I–”

Whatever Derek was going to say was paused when a nurse walked in, a slight splatter of blood over her scrubs. Both of them turned their attention to her, fearing the worst by the solemn look on her face. 

“She’s awake.” 

“Holy shit.” Derek mumbled while Spencer let out a breath he had been holding for what felt like millenia. 

“But.” The nurse continued. “She can only see one person at a time. And she’s asking for Agent Hotchner.” 

Neither of them had realized that the solemn looking section chief was sitting quietly in the corner. Derek and Spencer shared a look with another, while Hotch got up from his chair and followed the nurse down the hallway and into your room. 

“Aaron.” You smiled at him, though it was an exhausted smile. “Thought you’d come in with blood on your shirt from having to fight through Spencer and Derek.” 

Hotch chuckled and closed the door behind him, sitting down next to you and placing a hand on yours, squeezing it. “The nurse shot them both a look and told them ‘not to try anything’. But I do have to ask, why me.” 

You closed your eyes. “I want to give you my recount of what happened while I can still see it.” 

“Y/n you do–”

“Hotch I want to. I watched as she stabbed that woman over and over. I watched as that asshole buried her body. I want to tell you what I saw. I want to tell you so that there’s no fucking way either of them will ever see the light of day again.” 

Hotch didn’t feel like now was the appropriate time to mention that one of the unsubs was dead. He wanted to hear your memory of the events. He pulled out a mini black notebook, and a pen, from inside his suit jacket pocket. “Whenever you’re ready Y/N.” 

______________________________________________________________

“Hello everyone, my name is Doctor Y/n Y/l/n, and I am going to be your speaker today. I have been with the BAU for about a month, and they wanted me to come in and speak to you about it—a newbie’s experience.” 

That earned you a couple of laughs scattered throughout the crowd. You were asked to come in and speak about what it’s like to join the BAU to anyone interested in becoming profilers. You were not expecting for it to be a full house, but every single seat had someone in it, with overflow huddling around the back of the lecture hall by the walls. 

“Now, I’ll try to stay within my time limit since I know standing and listening to someone blab on about themselves is not the ideal situation; however. That’s exactly what you signed up for. So–.” 

Spencer stood in the back of the room, watching you speak to all of these students with ease–your peers really. Some of them even older than you, and yet, there you were, confidently smiling and maintaining their interest. It baffled Spencer. 

He wished he knew how you were able to captivate so easily, especially since he was completely enamored by you. Derek knew it too—well the whole team really knew, except for you. 

The crowds laugh pulled him out of his thoughts as you continued on. 

“Right. Now.” You clicked the little clicker and the pictures shifted behind you. “It’s time to get serious. I know I said that already, but I mean it this time.” You smirked a little bit and went onto the next slide. 

“The first case I ever worked with the BAU, I was just a temp filling in Elle Greenaway while she was away on some family matter. I was assisting in some case where—”

Spencer’s train of thought got the better of him. All he could do was think about the day you subbed in for Elle. He could remember it like yesterday, even though it was almost forty days ago, not that he was counting. He didn’t remember much of the case though, which was a sore subject that Derek and JJ would tease him about still. 

“Does anyone have any questions about the process?” Your voice brought him back to the lecture hall once again. 

“How old are you?” Some random guy’s voice rang out amongst the crowd. 

“Well.” You laughed. “I’m twenty-two.” 

Spencer heard some of the people around murmur, and he chose to ignore whatever they were saying about you, since he wasn’t one to win most fights.

“Why the BAU?” 

You paused and bit your cheek, thinking really hard about that question. 

“Honestly? I was obsessed with the serial killer documentaries when I was like fifteen/sixteen, and then one of my family members was murdered when I was fourteen. It’s not something I talk about a lot, but I remember my biggest question was why. It’s why I was so obsessed with those documentaries, because I wanted to know why someone felt that they could just take someone away from a family, from the world, and I realized that the only way I could find out the answer was if I did it myself.” 

There was a murmuring throughout the crowd once again. 

“I don’t think I’ll find the answer any time soon, if at all. But I love being able to protect people. I love being able to know that what I’m doing every day matters–to everyone sure, but mostly to me.” 

Spencer, and the rest of the team, had no idea you were connected to such a tragic event at such a young age. You didn’t show the signs of someone who had gone through something like that. But now that he knew, he wanted to find out everything about it, find a way to bing you peace of mind. God, it sounded so stupid. He barely even knew you. 

He was lucky you were extraverted in that since he could barely form a sentence around you. God he couldn’t wait to listen to you talk to him on the car ride back to the BAU. 

______________________________________________________________

You ended up talking to Spencer last. 

One by one you smiled at your friends, reassured them you were feeling better, and told them you would rest. 

But then, Spencer was standing in the doorway, and he was looking at you with such pain, with such distraughtness, that tears started to stream out of your eyes–you didn’t notice. But Spencer did. He quickly closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed. Clasping your hand in his, he used his other hand to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. “Sweetheat, baby, it’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s okay.” He whispered, trying to provide you with some comfort. 

“Did…Did you get my necklace back…” 

That was not where Spencer thought this conversation was going. “I–”

“Be-Because I can't ... .Spence I’m so sorry. She just snatched it off of my neck while I was unconscious and, and, and she put it on, and fuck–”

Spencer squeezed your hand, causing your rampage to stop, but the tears pushed on. “We have it.” He said quietly. “There’s no way in hell I’m ever letting anyone else take that necklace okay?” 

You nodded and used your other hand to wipe at your cheeks, managing to get rid of the tears. 

Spencer kissed your hand again. “It’s at home, right on the kitchen counter. I got it professionally cleaned and everything.” 

You nodded and sighed. After a moment of silence, you peered around his frame, taking in all of the flowers and balloons and cards that people had left you. 

“wow…This is…”

“A lot?”

You nodded, brows furrowing as you bit the inside of your cheek. Spencer watched as your eyes slowly scanned across the flowers in the room, landing on the bouquet from Derek. 

“Is someone trying to declare war on me?” Your laugh was a bit garbled as you swallowed down the rest of your tears, trying desperately to change the subject. 

“Morgan thought you would think that was funny.” He whispered, his eyes only focused on you. On the way your lips parted when a particular inhale hurt your chest since they had only taken the catheter out an hour ago, or the way your chest rose and fell, the bruises scattered across were blooming into nasty blues, purples, and greens. 

“Who got me poppies?” 

Spencer met your eyes, a small cheeky smile on his lips. 

You slapped his arm with no mirth behind it, a grin spread widely across your face. “I’m sorry. But did you get me a consolation prize for surviving?” 

Spencer nodded, watching as you laughed to yourself, wincing when it would hurt a bit too much. “I love them, Spence.” 

“Good.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

There were more flowers you couldn’t see, at your home. There was vase upon vase, filled with plenty of flowers for you to decode their accidental (or purposeful) messages, each with their own ‘get well!’ card attached. There was only one bouquet that mattered above the rest, made of completely fake flowers. There were bright red Salvia Splendens, contrasting against the white of the kitchen counter, waiting for you to come home and see them. 

Spencer had thought that he should buy you flowers that lasted forever, just as long as his love would, just as long as he would forever be yours.  

______________________________________________________________

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[angeart]

My brain keeps going back to the hhau rambles and Grian asking Scar about taking his wings off and just...how incredibly short-sighted that "fix" would be. Because like, even if he lost one/both his wings and lived through it....he'd still have his instincts. He'd still chirp...he'd still wanna be high up in nests but he'd have to climb now. He'd never be able to wrap himself in wings again... depending on when that earring of Scar's might be the last of his feathers... and oh gosh post rescue? The hermits seeing him without wings and all the questions and looks of pity. Some well meaning hermit maybe brings him an elytra which he's never needed before and oh that could cause a spiral

-🎀

oh gosh. oh okay. i see you're bringing angst to my doorstep.

grian definitely wasn't thinking clearly in that moment. he simply reached a point where he can't see any other solution. so much of his anguish is tied to his wings. he's in pain and scared and he desperately wants it to stop.

he's learned to despise his wings. they cause him so much turmoil and everything that was ever good about them—everything he loved—has been meticulously erased. they're not pretty. they are dirty and grimy and itchy. heavy, unwieldy, muscles locked up, clumsy and aching from disuse. they no longer feel like a proper part of him. he's not using them, he's just constantly fighting to tuck them away. to make the world believe they're not there.

well then... wouldn't it be easier? if that was the reality?

to him, it sounds like a long-term solution to an otherwise never-ending problem.

his wings are a beacon, and wouldn't him and scar be so much safer without them? if he didn't have them, there'd be no reason for people to madly hunt him. maybe then they could stop running and catch their breath. maybe then scar wouldn't be in constant danger just from being near him. maybe then the fear lodged into grian's spine and the endless string of triggered panic attacks would finally go away.

yes, he'd still have his instincts. but he's already grounded. he's already not using his wings for any sort of comfort at this point, and flight is not an option. he's craving nests and high places, but that doesn't mean he can get them, wings or no wings, and— he was fine without that on hermitcraft! surely if the pain and fear stop, his instincts will calm down? surely, he can get at least a semblance of control back?

and you need to realise. there was no thought spared to the hermits. at this point, scar and grian have given up and no longer expect or even hope to ever be rescued. in their minds, there's no one coming to save them. there's no home to go back to. it's just this.

it will always be this.

and this is painful, and grian is clawing at ideas of making it better somehow—anyhow—no matter how drastic or gruesome that option might seem.

that all being said... man. that big what if. what if he really lost them? what if, one way or another, he managed to get rid of his wings? what if that happened and he survived?

your point about how scar's earring would be the last of grian's feathers is so heartrending. that'd be so tragic and sad.

and then post-rescue, the hermits would have even more proof of the damage. even more questions, too. even more helplessness as how to help, when the damage done is long since unfixable </3

grian, having to wrangle with having a safe environment to fly again, but having no wings to fly with... especially if that was his own choice. if it was preventable. ouch.